Dad Advice: Dating and Love

Maddie & Gracie,

Someday you will want to...(sigh)...date. So, here is what I need you to know and understand about dating.

1. Parents fear their children dating because it is fraught with the potential to get hurt. Remember, we only want what is best for you. Admittedly, it took a while to find your mother and achieve the happiness for which I had been searching. I had some disappointments along the way and, I am sure to have had disappointed others as well. Take your time, protect yourself, and never fear coming to me or your mother for support, advice, guidance, and understanding...we’ve all been there.

2. I hope that you will seek someone who values you as much as I do and will treat you as I have done. Kindness, caring, friendship, affection, appreciation, consideration, empathy, laughter, dignity, and respect should all be expressed, unconsciously, by the person whom you choose to be with.  Never stay with someone who does not appreciate you for exactly who you are and does not show you the courtesy you deserve. Know your value and never let someone else dictate your worth. 

3. Life is entirely too short to limit your chances for achieving true happiness and experiencing unconditional joy in your life. In my opinion race, gender, religion, orientation, nationality, and class present no significance when searching for that special someone. It ultimately does not matter. If you find someone who brings joy into your life and loves you as much as I do, than hold onto that person and never worry about what others may think or say. 

We will always - ALWAYS - have your back and believe in you.

Love,

Dad

Dad Advice: Know Your Value

Maddie & Gracie,

As I have told you many times throughout your lives: You. Are. Wonderful. I see you for who you are, who you will become, and it brings me great joy to envision your future.  

Both of you are intelligent, compassionate, caring, funny, beautiful, kind, and loving young women. You should always embrace the goodness instilled in you and endeavour to make this world a better place by extolling your virtues.

Never let anyone succeed in diminishing your self worth. Do not let yourself be defined simply by what others may think of you. Stay true to who you are and who you want the world to see you as by projecting your confidence and using your mind, heart, skills, ideals, principles, and beliefs to forge your happiness. 

Believe in yourselves and what you can accomplish when you focus your desire and will to succeed. Use your passion to overcome the obstacles that may stand in your way but, do so while wielding kindness, reason, facts, and empathy to navigate your path in life.

Embrace your shortcomings and weave your failures into your greater character as rounded personal growth relies on the teachings learned in both your victories and defeats. 

See yourselves as your Mom and I see you, for we could not be prouder.

Love,

Dad

Dad Advice: Introduction

Maddie & Gracie,

I was the first to hold each of you when you were delivered into this world. I am not ashamed to say that tears of joy streamed down my face when you were born because, in that moment, I was completely overcome with a feeling of love.  I had never imagined that I would be awash with such powerful and humbling emotions - emotions that came from instantaneously loving someone so unquestionably and entirely. It is you two that delivered into my life the meaning and purpose I had not yet known it so desperately needed.

With the passing of my friend and coworker, John Heaney, I realize that this existence is so fleeting that time may not always be available to express to you all the hopes and dreams I wish for your future. Though I pontificate to you on a somewhat regular basis, I thought it best to start writing down some of the lessons and wisdom acquired so far in my life. 

With that in mind, I trust you will read what I have written here as it was intended - to be advice and insight that you could draw upon in the years to come.  Please know that every word I write to you comes from a place of love, caring, and deep reflection that hopefully you can use in your journey.

I love you both very much and feel absolutely blessed, everyday, to have had the privilege of being your father.

Love,

Dad

Essays for my children: They Are Us

WE are US.
THEY are THEM.
THEY are not US. 
THEY are different from US.
THEY cannot be trusted like US.
THEY are against US. 
THEY must hate US.
THEY must go.

YOU do not agree with US?!

YOU are THEM.
YOU are not US. 
YOU are different from US.
YOU cannot be trusted like US.
YOU are against US.
YOU must hate US.
YOU must go.

In the great span of humanity's existence, the circle of division simplified above has been repeated immeasurable times, in incalculable scenarios, and in innumerable places throughout the world. In each scenario, the use of division has allowed human beings to sub-classify other human beings as something other than being human. Light Skin vs. Dark Skin, Man vs. Woman, Religion vs. Religion, Straight vs. Gay, Nationality vs. Nationality, Class vs. Class, Region vs. Region, Party vs. Party...an endless stream of subcategorized combatants fighting divisional rivalries for a supremacy that has always been briefly held and ultimately slipped the grasp by the advancement of time. 

Essays for my children: The Stranger at the Gate

Who amongst us does not hold in their hearts the belief that our Country, The United States of America, is the greatest in the world. So is it any wonder that those who did not receive the blessings of being born into this existence as an American would travel on foot, across treacherous terrain, striving to be delivered into a land of unlimited potential and unparalleled opportunity. 

Imagine the thirst for such freedom that so many desperately possess, dreaming of a life free from violence, strife, destitution, hunger, and tyranny. The hope of a life delivered to themselves, their children, and their families is what draws so many to the gates of She, the New Colossus, who now seemingly strains to hold up her lamp beside the golden door. They see her beacon and yearn to bask in its warmth, enraptured by the twinkling of that brighter future’s vision.

Essays for my children: We Are All Equal

We Are All Equal:

Sometime ago I was introduced to the theory of the Fermi Paradox. The Fermi Paradox states that humanity has not made contact with intelligent life anywhere else in the Universe because we are alone - being either the first or the last of intelligent life forms in existence. That in itself - at least for me - was a startling premise to consider however, when looking at the massive scale involved with this theory, it provided a revelation on equality.

In all of human history, 106 billion people have walked the face of the Earth. Today alone, there are 7 billion of us living on the planet. That sure is a lot of people however, let us compare that number, on this planet, revolving around our solar system's single star, to the awe-inspiring numbers in The Milky Way Galaxy and beyond. The Milky Way Galaxy possesses approximately 300 billion stars, in a broader Universe that contains 100 billion galaxies, and those galaxies have a combined 30 quadrillion stars. The immense numbers of planets that revolve around those stars have an estimated total of 999 sextillion, 999 quintillion, 999 quadrillion, 999 trillion, 999 billion, 983 million, 222 thousand, 784 planets. Written out continuously, that number looks like this: 999, 999, 999, 999, 999, 983, 222, 784.

Essays for my children: Life is about perspective

Maddie and Gracie,

You have asked me numerous questions about the political journey our country has travelled and, in considering your questions, I have had to engage my mind as well as my heart. In my responses, I have endeavored to see the world through your eyes and explain my insights by visualizing the realities of people I have never been and through experiences I have never lived.

In this contemplation, I realize that few things in life have ever been denied me. The reality of this world sees opportunities abound for a caucasian male born to a loving, two parent, middle class home on the Northeastern coast of the United States. So how could I possibly explain the reality of others to my children when I have never been another race or color. I have never been from another culture or raised in another religion. I have never been another gender or orientation. I have never been disabled, destitute, or devoid of hope. I have never had opportunities restricted due to my age, nationality, or status. I have never been persecuted, ostracized, or segregated. I have never known a fractured home, a family divided, or what is to be a child abandoned. I have never been condemned or hated for the simple virtue of being born into this existence.